Tuesday, February 24, 2009

If you think you have trouble at airport security, think again...

Airport security sucks for this babe who has over 6000 piercings. And she doesn't even like piercings. Double fail.

Free Hugs

This woman was arrested for domestic battery when she tried to give her boyfriend her hug. Completely understandable. She is major fugs.

Click here

Awkward Turtle: Frog

Seriously Awkward Frog
Click here

Monday, February 23, 2009

What's next after the Liger

Napoleon Dynamite made Ligers famous - of course, they're bred for the skills and magic. Well this is old new BUTTTTTT who knew there was such a thing as a WHOLPHIN. Featured above is a bottlenose dolphin, a whale and they're offspring - a wholphin. UNREAL. ZOMG.

Sorry to all middle class housewives


India moves to patent yoga poses in a bid to protect traditional knowledge. That's got to be a challenge - sometimes I can't tell the difference between yoga and the Karma Sutra.

To read more click here

Beer Pong = Herpes

According to the Center for Disease Control, unprotected beer pong play is nearly as dangerous as unprotected sex.

Prison security in Athens, Greece fails


Two of Greece's most wanted men have staged a daring helicopter escape from Athens' highest-security prison - for the second time in three years.

Armed robber and kidnapper Vassilis Paleokostas and his Albanian offsider Alket Rizaj were days away from standing trial for their escape in 2006.

They fled the prison after a helicopter landed on the jail's roof and threw them a rope ladder.

Click here to read more on the FAIL

Friday, February 20, 2009

Nuns fail...

Nuns of a convent in upstate NY sold a painting to an art dealer for $450,000. The next day the art dealer sold the painting so someone else for $2.2 million. In defense of his actions, the 'sister stiffer's lawyer said, "buyer owes no duty to advise a seller that the seller should raise its price."

i.e. it's not my fault that the nuns are bad business people.
i.e. fail

New York Failsssss

The state of New York spent $500,000 of Taxpayer's money on a FAILBOAT. The ferry was purchased from Martha's Vineyard. Inspectors of the boat deemed it 'not seaworthy'. Repair costs are estimated at $6 million. Fail New York. Fail.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Question of the Day

The following question was submitted to Seattle's 911 Police Online Blog.

I live near Aurora Avenue North and on two different occasions have caught prostitutes and their clients either in my driveway (in a car) or in my yard.

Is it legal to shoot trespassers with a paintball gun, water cannon gun (Super Soaker), rubber band gun -- essentially any "non lethal" weapon -- within the city limits of Seattle?


Click here to see the answer

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sticking it to the man is SEXAYYYY

An airline pilot was asked to remove his shoes and belt at airport security checkpoint. Instead he dropped his pants and said:

"SEARCH THIS".

Click here

Touch me baby

This Valentine's day was interesting for some.....

If you want to see very special moments caught on camera then CLICK HERE

A lion is enjoying having his balls grabbed!

Utah senator has more than 89 screws loose

It's fair to say this guy is slightly conservative and well just plain spastic. According to Liberal4Lyphe over here, "Gays are probably the greatest threat to America." Failed banks, foreclosed homes, global warming, and al-Qaeda all sent in their official complaint letters noting how unimpressed they were.

S.A.D. Mr. Mormon. Confirm fail in life.

Fat James Bond with a spastic GF

The man in this picture bears no resemblance to Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig, or Matt Damon. Yet his girlfriend believed that Fatty himself was a spy. She even signed the 'Official Secrets Act'... oooo yikes! Anyways, he convinced her that he was sent to save to her form her killer boss who intended to poison her with anthrax. Then she gave James Fatty £14k.

What the new stimulus package could buy

... According to the Boston Globe.

My faves:
1. More than 222 billion Big Macs
2. Pay off all US student debt
3. Mitt Romney's Utah ski home - more than 149,000 times over
4. 1,760 Celtics teams
5. Cover money lost in Madoff's scheme - 16 times over
6. Pay the salary of Massachusetts' top-paid worker for the next 1,283,713 years

What would you spend $787 billion on?

All US student loan debt
51.5%
Other
21.8%
11 years of salary for every elementary school teacher
15.1%
222 billion Big Macs
8.6%
45 million Pontiac G5s
2.5%
19.6 billion digital TV converter coupons
0.3%

Share your preference by clicking on the link above.

Fail/Megalol Epic Combination

Employees at a British hotel said they were ecstatic to receive a $250 billion tip. They imagined all they would do with the money. Here's the catch: ZIMBABWEAN DOLLARS. Inflation in Zimbabwe is 23 million percent. Employee fail. Zimbabwe fails a bit more though.

This gives me the megalolz... shame...



"What Hurts The Most"

Monday, February 16, 2009

Uhhhh pass.


No thanks....

I Heart Albino Animals

ALBINO ALLIGATOR!!!

With his piercing blue eyes and pale skin this rare alligator stands out like a sore thumb. Weighing over 500 pounds, Bouya Blan is one of only 12 white alligators in the world. The 22-year-old, whose name means white fog, lives along with three other giant leucistic alligators at the world famous Gatorland theme park in Florida.

Click here

Prisoners can, Soldiers cannot.

So although the beef cake below is accessing his Facebook and uploading his hot babe pics soldiers have now been banned from social networking sites. Posting information on the internet through blogging, joining in forum discussions or online multiplayer games is now considered "public disclosure of information". There are concerns that British Army personnel may inadvertently disclose confidential information.

Alllooo Laidees, I'm Pete, I like wawkin on va beach an the coordinates for ah ahmee baise in Afganistan ah FAIL.

Prisoners can be facebook addicts too!


Like this hot babe's profile pic? Add him as a friend! Doesn't matter that he's a convicted killer at a prison. He'll always be available to poke you. The 27-year-old is serving life at HMP Lindholme in South Yorkshire for stabbing a man through the heart.But he manages to access Facebook every day by using a mobile phone that was smuggled in to the jail. Brilliant security, really. Oh, and he also says being in jail is like being on holiday. Cheers.

AHHHHH

Scary Picture of The Day

Crazy Cats


These Nepalese crazy cats have succeeded in making me feel crap about myself. Walking up a few stairs throughout the day is enough exercise for me. These brothers walk up the Himalayas for the morning stroll. So just for kick, they're going to spend a day on top of Mount Everest.. you know... to take in the view. Don't forget to pack a picnic, boys.

Failtron


This is the story of the most epic failtron to walk this earth... A man claims he's innocent and blames his identical twin for the crime. His birth certificate states a single birth. So he goes on to claim it was his Siamese twin. Some people are so dumb it's unreal. And why did his lawyer think this was a good defense to go with?

The worst part was that after his shitey defense failed, the defendant laughed and said, "it didn't work." You think?

I will fly your plane with my legs.

An armless woman from Arizona has received her pilot's license. She looks awkward and uncomfortable. But either way, congrats!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Two of The Hot Babes




Two of the hot babes Chantelle supposedly slept with and therefore potential daddies of Maisie.. according to the Sun.

15 year old mum a bigger slut than initially thought

According to this article, two other teenagers have stepped forth claiming paternity for the baby girl in the above picture. Turns out Chantelle (mummy) was sleeping with EIGHT GUYS AT ONCE. Suppperrrrslllutttt!!

If you want to remain anonymous, getting naked is a crap idea

If you just robbed a bank, and you're worried that authorities know what you're wearing, taking off all your clothes isn't the best way to avoid unwanted attention. This genius didn't know that.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Save me, you big brave boy!

When firefighters arrived at the scene of a flooding Inn they were continuously disturbed by a wasted guest. The drunk lady kept mooning the men and kept asking to see their wee-hoos.

No PDA on V-Day!


There is a land where people travel from afar. Tis the land of making out. Now a kissing ban has put a stop to that. Click here to find out more about this Mexican kissing ban.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fatty Mantatee!

A manatee that was stuck in a pond at a private golf club in North Palm Beach was rescued today, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reported.

The manatee measured 500lbs and was 6 feet long. What a whale.

There's Better Green Over The Pond

Teenagers in Britain are getting legally high on a synthetic form of cannabis that is four to five times more powerful than the active ingredient in the real drug. The drug isn't even illegal yet - it's 'under review'.

Don't believe me? Click here

Happy They Were Fired


Click here for a list of 8 people who are very happy they were fired from a job in their lives.

The list includes Jerry Seinfeld and Michael Bloomberg.

Could be you!

They forgot Mariah Carey though. Virgin Records paid her $28 million to get lost in 2002. Then she came out with The Emancipation of Mimi which went 6 times platinum. Fail Virgin.

Get Kidnapped, On Purpose, For Fun!


A company is now offering kidnapping services for your entertainment. Apparently people like to be stalked, and feel like they're going crazy.

This sounds like a parrtaayyy!

Sad sad but still fail.


A woman sadly failed on V-Day a couple of years ago.

She organized to jump out of a cake with lingerie on in the middle of the restaurant and propose to her boyfriend.

The fail part was that he said nothing and walked out the restaurant.

Click here

Sex Ed teacher is a tool

... wears a condom on his head and puts on red undies. Hurrah!



You can find the article here

Sucks To Be You....



A 13 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend have had a baby.

Oh yes...and the story is veryyyy touching.

Instead of playing PlayStation, he goes to the hospital to see his daughter! Nice choice pal!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

If you have the maturity of a three year old...


You MUST play THIS

... be sure to turn your sound on





Megalolz

A must see:

Phelpsie



Phail.


This is such a fail it required PH instead.

"The US military has failed to keep track of thousands of weapons shipped to Afghanistan, leaving them vulnerable to being lost or stolen."

"Hey Bob, where's that giant shipment of guns that just came in for the troops?" "Oh, no worries. I have the receipt here. Some guy named Al Kida signed for them"

Click here

Apparently..........


George Clooney is dating Benazir Bhutto's niece - Fatima.
zomg.

Click here

EXTREME AWKWARD TURTLE


A REAL ALBINO TURTLE!

An albino turtle born at the Biological Reserve of Abufari, and presented by the Chico Mendes Institute for Biodiversity Conservation in Tapaua, Amazonia, Brazil. The albino turtle is one of around 300,000 turtles born at the ICMBio in the last two months. They will have to live in captivity for at least a year before their release in the Amazon basin.
Here's the link

Thanks to the shitty economy...


... Cocaine is now cheaper than beer.

Don't believe me? Click here

No more drunks or beer bellies now- just skinny lohans.

Awkward Turtle

...to the MAXXXIIIMMMUUMMM.

Did anyone else see Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman? It was painful!

Check it out... and cringe.

Gandhi's shit fo' sale.


What???!!!!

An auctioning house in New York is selling off Gandhi's trademark personal items: glasses, watch, sandals, and more. Also at the auction: my converse shoes from the 11th grade.

Risky Business

According to an article on FoxNews (I know, right) the riskiest place to do it is on public transportation.

2nd: Phone Booth
3rd: Elevator

Arab Money

If you're familiar with the Arab Money dance then you might enjoy this...
(thanks to Boody for this one!)

Zoorotica


A zoo in Michigan is putting on a show that explores the love making of animals. This saturday, visitors can learn about the biting, scratching, and clawing of some animal sexy-time. Ohhh yeah.

2009 Music Money Makers


Here's some highlights from Billboard's Moneymakers list....

- Number 1 was predictable - Madonna with $242,167,466
- My homegirl, Celine Dion, landed number 5 with $99,971, 237
- Lil Weezy landed number 12 with $57,441, 334
- The Boob scored number 14 with $50,257,364
- My bff Miley was ranked 15th! ($48, 920, 806)

Apparently...


 
C-Breezy's relationship status on Facebook is now 'single'.

Why did the LA Times reports this?!!!